Why do many men love porn - on - and offline - so much? And can men love porn and still love their wives? The secret dynamics behind sexual boredom, internet sex, and sexual fantasies - issues that can leave women bewildered and men ashamed - lie in deep reservoirs of guilt, loneliness, and insecurity that plague men in our culture.
Filled with engaging case studies from Dr. Bader's years of clinical practice. Male Sexuality gives readers - both women and men - a deeper understanding of male behavior, from the flamboyant to the mundane. Through increased awareness of the psychology behind the sex, Dr.
Bader aims to enhance individual self-esteem and improve communication in relationships. Request this item to view in the Library's reading rooms using your library card. To learn more about how to request items watch this short online video. You can view this on the NLA website.
Talk about happy accident! We are so happy you found us, keep checking back for all the fun new content we have going up on the site every day. March 26, Are We Good Listeners? Barbara Botta Posted April 30, am 0 Likes. Most interesting article. Thanks Barbara. Glad the review resonated. Best, Jeffrey.
Nam Posted December 9, am 0 Likes. Showing Average rating 3. Rating details. Sort order. Apr 05, Sarah rated it it was amazing. If you are at all interested in looking past old assumptions about the minds and hearts of these wonderful creatures, this is the book for you. If you are just curious, you will still be rewarded by reading. At the very least you will come away with a new appreciation for the cum shot. I a If you are at all interested in looking past old assumptions about the minds and hearts of these wonderful creatures, this is the book for you.
I am sure I was influenced to some extent by the jokes people made on TV and everywhere else about which head guys used to think with, or the bored housewife who contemplated what color to paint the ceiling while hubby was on top of her. In contrast to this, there were always boys and men that I admired, and appreciated for their thoughtfulness and kind words at certain times in my life.
The ex-boyfriend reinforced this idea by saying all men ever wanted was to get laid and would lie, cheat, steal and sometimes murder to do it. Put a man in a room alone with a woman who is ready to go. The smart ones just know how to keep themselves out of that situation. What I imagined went on in their minds went something like this: Gooood. Over and over until the big bang. The men I questioned did little to help. I still wonder what things would have been like if I had read Marco Vassi as a teenager.
He might as well have dropped your ass on the cold hard floor. Had to reference that great song by Lily Allen Bader argues that this behavior might actually be a sign that he is more worried about pleasing you than you might assume as you lay dying. He says that what the guy is really dealing with is an excessive concern about the wellbeing of women, beginning of course with his mother.
This results in an additional sense of responsibility, and leads to an increase in anxiety which results in them ignoring their own feelings, and those of the women they are with. By the end of the book, you might find the author makes an excellent case for at least considering the possibility that more is going on. He introduces the notion that men are only allowed to show their feelings with women who are not equipped to understand everything about them; this burdens women and limits men in their emotional development.
Awesome deals these… Several topics in the book will benefit women directly. He addresses the power of fantasy sex is all in the mind, baby pathogenic beliefs--thoughts that cause you to do things that are unhealthy and one of the most important: ruthlessness, a concept that means you must be selfish in order to get off.
He says that excitement breaks down under worry or guilt. So let go of those miserable thoughts, often planted by advertisers that plague the bedroom. Stop worrying about your breath, your jiggling whatever or the noises you make, and as the author encourages, stop worrying about him! You are already in bed, enjoy yourself and he will too. Chapters that cover youth fantasies, rape fantasies this one was a real eye opener and I suggest reading this very closely before jumping to conclusions aggression and pornography, make this book really really valuable.
The examples he gives of patients he has seen in his thirty year career worked really well to make this book accessible. Neither one of them would stop to consider the reasons for what the other was feeling. The wife felt hurt because the husband refused to use extra lubricant as part of their bedroom scene, and the husband felt insulted because she was no longer able to get wet when she was with him.
He felt that this was a reflection on him as a person. The author is not saying that lying, cheating, and investing precious time in addictive behavior is admirable, but does give excellent reasons why these things happen. He agrees that wives have a right to be angry when husbands lie, or spend time away from home maintaining extra-marital affairs, or nursing fantasy relationships instead of putting that energy into their own real life relationship.
The author also offers again, setting aside the seductive need to judge that the wife should be aware that real life may come with the belief, that home and his wife are where he has to face his failure, his inadequacy, his inability to truly make her happy. The fantasy women whether they are strippers, prostitutes, women behind a chat room screen or actors in adult movies represent a place to go to be free of all that and just enjoy themselves.
This is an important book and I hope anyone interested in the topic of sexual issues the sections on pathogenic beliefs and ruthlessness would probably even resonate with women having sex with women will give some attention to. Jan 03, Sveti rated it really liked it. About the book: The beginning was good, it shed light on the subject of why femininity is so violently rejected by boys.
It is an interesting point of view. This was an interesting approach — fantasies as a road to understanding one's unconscious, just in the way Freud viewed dreams. The author insists that understanding sexual fantasies is even a quicker way to get to the unconscious than the analysis of dreams. So far so good. There were too many examples sometimes and sometimes too little, also I didn't fully agree with the interpretations of some of them. There is really so much that can be said about this topic.
For example the infidelity which is typical nowadays — while one of the partners is loyal, the other sleeps around with multiple partners. This case was not at all discussed, while the husband and wife scenario was presented as the most common and that it was due to lack of understanding between the partners, not to total lack of desire for understanding because of the lack of respect and caring attitude toward the partner which is quite often the case.
It seemed to me that he was making a rationalization, so typical for people who do not want to admit the truth, but instead want to expain things in a nice way.
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And can men love porn and still love their wives? The secret dynamics behind sexual boredom, internet sex, and sexual fantasies - issues that can leave women bewildered and men ashamed - lie in deep reservoirs of guilt, loneliness, and insecurity that plague men in our culture.
Filled with engaging case studies from Dr. Bader's years of clinical practice. Male Sexuality gives readers - both women and men - a deeper understanding of male behavior, from the flamboyant to the mundane. Through increased awareness of the psychology behind the sex, Dr. Bader aims to enhance individual self-esteem and improve communication in relationships.
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