Ive seen it three times. HR and Equity Services advisors are negligent in their duty. If your being bullied at work, contact the Ministry of Labour, Human rights Commission and consult with a lawyer.
A very detailed addition — there is so much to this issue and an entire book can be written about each of these areas. I do into more detail in my book, Bully Free at Work and a lot of what you have written and shared here is often true. Thank you for taking the time to add. The key is to be aware of the reality — to have measured and careful steps. It would be great if it were different. Being aware of the actual reality is job 1.
I believe the real reasons why bullies get away with their bullying behaviour are manifold, and are things that we tend not to admit to. Bullies are often bosses, supervisors or managers — therefore they are in a position of power.
They wanted this power, because it gives them the opportunity to bully people who are below them in rank or sometimes equal in rank. They are often the people who come across as confident to the point of cocky, as pushy, as very ambitious to the point of greedy. Bullies are excellent liars and fakers — they know just what to do or say to make them look innocent, credible, responsible, reliable, believable.
They seek to suck up to people senior to them, but are very different toward people equal in rank, or below them. Because in my experience, HR departments often do NOT do enough to help the victims of bullying; either because they are ignorant in respect of bullying, or, because they know that to admit that their company has a problem with bullying is a huge issue in its own right. In their eyes, it is easier to keep quiet about an awkward subject, than to tackle it.
Most bullies can work out that staff complaints usually reach the HR department to get sorted out, thus they will try to ensure that anyone in HR only sees them at their best. In organizations where no HR department exists, and managers sort out disputes, bullies will automatically suck up to them. Because bullies are very good at denying the truth, and hiding evidence, at fabricating evidence, at destroying any record that shows evidence of their bullying. They may openly lie in response to questioning, and when faced with evidence, they will deny the truth of it.
If given the chance, they may deliberately destroy evidence e. A victim keeps notes that record bullying incidents by her boss, so whilst she is on leave, the boss opens her desk and destroys the notebook. On her return to work the victim is told that cleaning staff must accidentally have come across the notebook and lost it.
Bullies will also fabricate evidence that supports them e. Employees that stood up to the bullying also earned the respect of their coworkers and gained back power in the relationship with their bosses. Standing up to your boss is not easy. If you feel like they are taking advantage of you, it might be worth considering. But first, think about the possible repercussions.
You have to be comfortable with the fact that you could be disciplined or lose your job for standing your ground. For some people, confronting bullying is the priority over maintaining their position in the company. Others would prefer to learn coping mechanisms while they hunt for a new job. Whatever your decision, be sure you are prepared for the possible outcome. If you do want to confront your boss, try these strategies for handling the situation effectively.
Bullying bosses are able to quickly discern whom they can control and manipulate. Avoid looking nervous, insecure, or defeated. No matter what happens during your discussion stay strong and remain professional. Keep your chin up and do not give in to the pressure. Keep in mind, though, that most bullying bosses will not take responsibility for their mean behavior. They are likely to shift the blame for their actions back to you or simply brush it off, saying they don't remember it happening.
Recognize this for what it is and do not falsely believe that you are to blame for their choices. Instead, focus on continuing to produce high-quality work. Also, do not allow the turmoil your boss creates to cause you to fall behind on projects. Be sure to keep good documentation of all your successes.
Keep a record of all the bullying incidents, including dates, times, and witnesses. You should also keep all electronic correspondence. If you feel emotionally drained, depressed or anxious, contact a counselor.
It is never a good idea to ignore the effects of workplace bullying. Remember, you have no control over what other people say or do. But,you do have control over your response. Keep your confrontation free of emotion and anger. You also need to be prepared for your boss to retaliate. Be sure you have a plan in place in case your boss fires you for calling out their mean behavior. Remember, bullies count on you being passive about their behavior. Show your boss that they made a mistake in targeting you.
Address the issue with your boss in a calm and assertive manner. Here's the definition of alogia, and how poverty of speech may relate to some mental health conditions. Fundamental attribution error is a cognitive pattern that may make it easy to unfairly judge someone's character based on their actions, rather than…. You two may joke or remark every now and then about your appearances, but lately it's more.
Body dysmorphic disorder is serious. Here's how to help if…. Shame is a powerful driving force in many people's lives — and it's often a core issue behind addictions and codependency. Losing your job can have a detrimental effect on your mental and physical health. Learn about how long-term unemployment may affect you. What comes first: the feeling or the expression of emotions?
This is what the Cannon-Bard theory attempts to explain. Your gut feeling is correct: the boss really does prefer the bully to you. How to Talk About Your Grief.
Are You Too Judgmental? It may be hard to believe, but the screaming insulter is still alive and well in some workplaces. While the archetypical yeller is a boss who manages by fear, the blatant bully can be anyone in the workplace. They want their way. Passive-aggressive bullies leave you wondering if you were just given praise or taken down a peg.
To your employees, this can feel like sabotage. Some people simply function in a very direct manner. These people may be perceived as bullies. They may not even know how they come across to others.
Direct people are quick, aggressive and unfiltered, which, over time, can seem like bullying. The reasons behind their behavior could run the gamut. It may result from a need to make themselves feel good, or because they need to feel in control. Their bullying tactics may also stem from a desire to promote their own career.
Weak managers, for example, will sometimes resort to management by fear , which can make them bullies. If their way of trying to motivate employees includes intimidation or scare tactics, employees may feel picked on. Other bullies may unconsciously pick on those they perceive to be weak. Dealing with a workplace bully can be a delicate situation. Some employees may take it upon themselves to deal directly with the offender , telling them how their words or actions affect their work.
However, because intimidation may be at the root of the bullying, some employees may not feel they can talk directly to the bully, especially if the person outranks them. If your company provides an EAP program, they may also want to refer to it for tips on dealing with difficult employees.
The manager should talk separately with the offender and the victims to determine what has transpired. If it continues to happen, the bully may need to be elevated to a progressive discipline plan — a process that includes verbal and written counseling.
This plan can include having the bully attend classes or sessions that address specific behaviors.
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